Sunday, 1 November 2026

Neck and Shoulder Tension: Why Your Body Won’t Relax — Even When You’re Resting

Struggling with neck and shoulder tension?What if your body doesn’t need another stretch? What if it needs to learn how to support itself?

Neck and shoulder tension can make something as simple as getting a good night’s sleep feel impossible. You buy another pillow, stretch your neck, massage your shoulders, and experiment with different sleeping positions. Yet the tightness keeps returning.

What if your body doesn’t need another stretch?

What if it needs to learn how to support itself?

We often approach muscle tension by focusing on the area that hurts. Tight neck? Stretch it. Stiff shoulders? Massage them. Upper back pain? Find a better chair.

But your body doesn’t work in isolated parts. Your neck, chest, shoulders, and upper back are constantly communicating through movement, muscle activity, and sensory information.

And sometimes, understanding those relationships can change how you experience your body.

When Neck and Shoulder Tension Interrupts Rest

I’ve spent years searching for a pillow that properly supports my cervical spine.

I’ve purchased pillows, tried positioning devices, and experimented with different ways of sleeping. Some provided temporary relief. None seemed to resolve the underlying discomfort.

Recently, while resting, I experienced something that changed how I think about neck and shoulder tension.

I could sense the relationship between my cervical spine, shoulders, upper back, and chest changing.

As my shoulders shifted, I felt a release across my chest and around my collarbones. My head seemed to settle into a more comfortable position, and my neck felt less restricted.

But the most interesting part wasn’t the release.

It was the sensation that followed.

My awareness of my body became sharper. I could sense how my upper back related to my chest, how my shoulders related to my neck, and how these structures worked together.

For a moment, it felt as though my body was giving itself a hug.

That experience left me wondering: How much of the tension we carry is influenced by the way our bodies organize themselves to feel supported?

Understanding Neck and Shoulder Tension: Your Neck Doesn’t Work Alone

Your neck is part of a much larger movement system.

Your cervical spine, thoracic spine, rib cage, shoulder blades, and chest all influence how your head and shoulders move.

When movement becomes limited in one area, other regions may respond by changing how they work.

For example, muscles around your neck and shoulders may become more active when you’re working at a computer, holding your head in one position, or performing a demanding physical task.

Over time, certain patterns of muscular effort may become familiar.

You may not even recognize how much tension you’re carrying.

Until you try to relax.

And discover that you don’t know how.

This doesn’t mean every tight muscle is compensating for another muscle. Neck and shoulder tension can have many causes, including stress, sustained positioning, physical demands, and underlying medical conditions.

But exploring how different parts of your body coordinate movement may reveal possibilities that stretching alone hasn’t addressed.

Why Stretching May Not Resolve Neck and Shoulder Tension

Stretching can improve flexibility and temporarily relieve discomfort.

But flexibility is only one part of movement.

Your nervous system also needs information about where your body is, how it’s moving, and how much muscular effort a task requires.

This ability is called proprioception.

Proprioception helps you touch your nose with your eyes closed, walk without constantly looking at your feet, or reach for something without checking where your arm is.

It also contributes to posture, balance, and movement coordination.

When you practice moving with greater awareness, you create opportunities to recognize unnecessary effort and explore different ways of distributing muscular work.

For someone experiencing neck and shoulder tension, that might mean noticing how the shoulders respond when the arms move, how the rib cage participates in breathing, or whether the neck tightens during a task that doesn’t require much effort.

Sometimes the goal isn’t to stretch farther.

It’s to discover that you can move with less effort.

What Does It Mean to Feel Supported From Within?

Think about the difference between gripping something tightly and holding it securely.

One requires constant effort. The other allows you to adjust your grip according to what the moment demands.

Your muscles work in a similar way.

They produce force, respond to movement, and coordinate with one another.

But they don’t all need to work at maximum effort to provide stability.

When muscular activity is appropriately coordinated, movement may begin to feel more fluid and supported.

This is what I think of as the internal hug.

Not a literal embrace, but a sensation of physical connection.

A feeling that your body doesn’t have to fight itself to hold you upright.

And perhaps that’s an experience many of us haven’t learned to recognize.

We’re familiar with what tension feels like.

We’re familiar with what fatigue feels like.

But how often do we stop to recognize what physical support feels like?

Can Movement Help You Feel More Secure in Your Body?

We often associate feeling supported with something outside ourselves.

A comfortable chair. A supportive pillow. Someone holding our hand. A warm embrace.

These experiences can be valuable.

But there’s another form of support worth exploring: the sense of stability we experience through movement and body awareness.

Could learning to recognize physical support within our own bodies influence how comfortable we feel at rest?

It’s an interesting question, although physical coordination shouldn’t be confused with emotional connection. Human touch provides relational benefits that movement cannot simply replace.

Still, developing body awareness may help us become more familiar with sensations of stability, ease, and connection.

And that is worth paying attention to.

How Pilates Can Help You Understand Neck and Shoulder Tension

At Movment Lab, I approach movement through three connected ideas:

Awareness. Connection. Strength.

Before asking the body to work harder, I want to understand how it’s already working.

Can you sense the relationship between your shoulders and rib cage?

Can you move your arms without unnecessarily tightening your neck?

Can you recognize when you’re holding tension that a movement doesn’t require?

Pilates provides opportunities to explore these questions through controlled movement, breathing, balance, and coordination.

Tools such as the Oov can introduce additional movement and stability challenges, encouraging participants to pay closer attention to how their bodies respond.

The objective isn’t perfect posture or keeping every muscle engaged.

It’s developing the awareness and capacity to apply the right amount of effort for the task.

Strength matters. But knowing how and when to use it matters, too.

For people who experience recurring neck and shoulder tension, this approach may provide another way to explore movement habits alongside appropriate medical care when needed.

Three Ways to Explore Neck and Shoulder Tension Through Body Awareness

The next time you notice your shoulders creeping toward your ears, resist the urge to immediately force them down.

Instead, get curious.

1. Notice your breathing.

Without forcing a deep breath, notice how your rib cage moves. Can you feel movement along the sides of your ribs and into your back?

2. Explore your shoulder movement.

Slowly raise and lower your arms within a comfortable range. Notice whether your neck tightens or your shoulders lift more than the movement requires.

3. Recognize the difference between support and gripping.

As you sit or stand, notice where you’re holding tension. Experiment with small, comfortable adjustments rather than forcing yourself into a rigid posture.

The purpose isn’t to find one perfect position.

It’s to become more aware of how your body responds.

Stop if movement causes pain, dizziness, or other concerning symptoms.

Frequently Asked Questions About Neck and Shoulder Tension

Why are my neck and shoulders always tight?

Persistent neck and shoulder tension may be associated with stress, prolonged positioning, repetitive activity, muscle fatigue, or other health conditions. How your neck, rib cage, and shoulders coordinate movement may also influence the effort you experience during everyday activities.

Can a bad pillow cause neck and shoulder tension?

A pillow that doesn’t comfortably support your head and neck may contribute to discomfort during sleep. Your preferred sleeping position, mattress, shoulder width, and individual anatomy can all influence what feels supportive.

Why doesn’t stretching relieve my neck and shoulder tension?

Stretching addresses flexibility and may provide temporary relief, but tension can involve other factors, including sustained muscle activity, stress, workload, and movement habits. Persistent or worsening symptoms deserve professional evaluation.

Can Pilates help with neck and shoulder tension?

Pilates may help some people improve movement awareness, coordination, muscular endurance, and physical function. Results depend on the individual and the cause of the symptoms. Pilates isn’t a substitute for diagnosing or treating a medical condition.

Your Body Is More Than a Collection of Muscles

The next time you experience neck and shoulder tension, consider asking a different question.

Instead of only asking, “What do I need to stretch?”

Ask, “What is my body doing, and what might help it move with less effort?”

Your body is more than a collection of muscles to strengthen and stretch. It’s a coordinated system you can learn to understand.

And perhaps one of the most valuable things movement can teach us is how to feel supported without constantly holding on.

Movement begins with awareness.


Explore Movement Differently at Movment Lab

At Movment Lab, we help people develop body awareness, improve coordination, and build practical strength for everyday life.

Discover a movement approach built around awareness, connection, and strength.

Explore Movment Lab’s movement training and Pilates services.

The post Neck and Shoulder Tension: Why Your Body Won’t Relax — Even When You’re Resting appeared first on Tamara Burkett.



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Tuesday, 18 August 2026

Why Pilates Start With Awareness Not Strength

Most people think exercise is about  building strength so they lift heavier, move faster, and push harder. That’s the message everywhere. Work harder and your body will get stronger. That’s the message most of us grow up hearing. If something is difficult, the answer must be to push through it.

Pilates has a very different approach and understanding this one idea about body awareness changed the way I move for good. It teaches the body something completley different. By practicing Pilates, your body learns that it can’t use what it can’t feel or sense. If you cannot feel a muscle, your nervous system can’t locate it. If your body cannot locate the muscle, it doesn’t know it exist. If you can’t feel a muscle, your body can’t activate it. “Numb is dumb.”

This is why building strength in certain muscles can take months, sometimes even years, for some people. It’s rarely just about effort or genetics. It comes dpwn to the mind-muscle connection. The stronger that connection, the faster and more precisiely your body can recruit a muscle. Weak connection, slow progress. Strong connection, faster, more efficient gains.

That simple idea of awareness sits at the center of Pilates. Before strength. Before endurance. Before complicated choreography. Pilates starts with awareness because strength naturally follows from awareness.  When you make strength the priority, injury occurs.

My First Pilates Session Was Brutal

The first time I tried classical Pilates in a studio, working one on one with a teacher, it was the hardest workout I had ever done at that point in my life.

Harder than lifting weights. Harder than running. Harder than the Insanity workouts with Shaun T that had me dripping sweat in my living room.

But the difficulty wasn’t just physical. It was psychological.

And if I’m being honest, my ego was a big part of it too. The exercises looked simple. Movements I thought I should easily be able to do. Something like Rolling Like a Ball, which looks like something a child could do without thinking, had me sweating bullets.

Then came the Roll Up. A movement that looks effortless when someone demonstrates it.

And I couldn’t do it. Not even close.

I remember feeling this wave of frustration wash over me. In that moment my mind went straight to judgment. If I can’t do something this simple, what’s wrong with me?

I felt like a mass of uselessness walking the earth. I know that sounds dramatic, but that’s where my mind went in that moment.

If I hadn’t been a practice body for my friend who was teaching, I probably would have never gone back. My ego would have quietly escorted me out the door for good.

But I kept coming back.

The Moment Things Began to Change

What kept me returning was curiosity and friendship.

I had to slow myself down enough to really listen to the verbal cues my teacher was giving. I had to give my brain time to understand what my body was being asked to do. Something else had to happen too.

I had to humble my ego. I had to accept that feeling muscles move, shake, or struggle is part of the human experience. I had to trust the process and give myself a little grace. And something interesting happened.

After about three sessions, movements that once felt impossible started making sense. My body began responding to the cues. Exercises that once felt foreign started to feel familiar. Some of them even became movements my body looked forward to. Even outside the studio, everyday movements felt different. Walking felt lighter. Standing felt easier. My body felt more organized somehow. That was the first time I began to understand what Pilates was actually changing.

Proprioception: The Missing Sense Most People Never Learn About

Pilates is really about restoring awareness inside the body.

There’s a sense inside all of us called proprioception. Think of it as the body’s internal GPS. It tells your brain where your limbs are in space, how your spine is positioned, and which muscles are doing the work. When that system is working well, the body moves with precision and efficiency.

But over time, many of us lose that communication.

Hours of sitting.
Old injuries.
Stress.
Repetitive movement patterns.

The brain slowly loses connection with certain muscles. Some muscles start doing too much while others quietly stop participating. This is how muscle imbalance develops. Muscle imbalance often shows up as tight hips, poor posture, joint discomfort, instability, or recurring injuries. The body begins compensating instead of moving with balance.

Most of the time the body isn’t broken. It has simply lost the signal.

Why Pilates Feels Different: Rebuilding Body Awareness

Pilates slows movement down on purpose.

That slower pace gives the brain time to reconnect with muscles that may have been offline for years. Instead of pushing through exercises blindly, Pilates asks you to pay attention. You start noticing subtle things like a shoulder that lifts when it shouldn’t, a hip that grips during a leg lift, a foot that collapses instead of supporting your weight.

At first that awareness can feel frustrating, but awareness is where change begins. Once your brain can feel a muscle, it can start to recruit it.

Awareness becomes control.
Control becomes strength.

Over time this process restores muscle balance, which leads to something else many people are searching for.

Better balance.Pilates roll down with bar

A Discovery That Took Years

What’s funny is that I didn’t even realize how significant my own muscle imbalances were until much later.

In fact, it wasn’t until I had completed three Pilates certifications that I fully understood how long certain muscles in my body had essentially been turned off.

Major trauma can do that.

The body adapts. It protects. Certain muscles stop participating without you even realizing it. You continue moving through life, compensating in ways that feel normal because that’s all your body knows.

Pilates slowly brings those patterns into the light.

But that’s a deeper story for another day.

Pilates Is More Than Exercise

Pilates is often misunderstood as just another workout or something reserved for dancers or boutique fitness studios.

But its real purpose goes much deeper. Pilates teaches you how to understand your body. It teaches you how to notice how you move, why you move that way, and how to restore balance when something isn’t working.

It reconnects you with the intelligence of your muscles, joints, and nervous system because the rule still holds true; Your body can’t use what it can’t feel.

Pilates simply helps you feel again.

If this blog has motivated you to try Pilates, I invite you to join me on Monday evenings for our Oov mat class.

Keep reading: If this got you thinking about how awareness translates into real, functional strength, you’ll want to check out Functional Strength & Pilates: Being In Control next — it picks up right where this leaves off.

Want more of this kind of thing — the stuff that doesn’t make it into class, or the ideas I’m still working through? Come find me on Instagram and TikTok — that’s where I share the day-to-day of this work.

A note on process: every idea, story, and lesson in this post came from my own experience and reflection. AI tools were used only to help polish grammar, structure, and readability during editing — not to generate ideas or draft original content.

The post Why Pilates Start With Awareness Not Strength appeared first on Tamara Burkett.



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Thursday, 12 April 2018

Character Discernment: How to Find Safe People

Have you ever met someone seemed fake? They’re charming, funny, and confident. Yet there’s something about them that’s off?

Your intuition waved a huge red flag in your mind’s eye, signaling caution! DO NOT PROCEED!

And what did you do?

You ignored the warning and form a connection with that person to only regret it later.

We’ve all been there.

I’ll be the first to admit of learning the hard way.

Character discernment is like completing an American Ninja Warrior obstacle course. It's incredibly challenging, but with practice, patience, and self trust, it can be accomplished and very necessary for protecting yourself and your business.

What makes character discernment challenging?


From personally experience and observation, I have uncovered 4 basic truths.

1. Adults have become masters at hiding our true selves from the world. Western society has taught us we must be something more than who we are to belong. The search for belonging and acceptance motivates us to consume things we believe will "fix us"

2. Not trusting yourself.  There have been countless times I trusted others before myself.  Yes, I was naive and yet I didn't know my own power so I freely gave it away.  How many times have you trusted someone's word over or your intuition? What about a group of friends, or experts? We naturally look to peers and expert opinions before trusting our own judgement.

3.  We judge others based on qualities outside of character traits. Some of us discern people based on their personality, looks, financial status, ethnicity, etc.  It's only when we look at character are we truly able to connect with safe people.

4. Allowing emotions to over-ride rational thinking. We buy out of emotion. Marketers know that, sales people know that, and manipulators know that. Being able to pull back those feelings and think things through would save a lot of money and heart-ache.

 How to find safe people


Safe people are those who are trustworthy, reliable, and genuine. They'd never intentionally bring you harm and want the best for you. Finding safe people involves being aware of patterns in behavior and conversation, self-reflection and dealing with your own short comings and sticking to personal boundaries.

 

THANKS FOR READING MY BLOG!
Are you looking for ways to stay top of mind?
Contact Us to discuss your client retention blueprint!
Or check us out on Facebook at TamaraBurkett

Thursday, 5 April 2018

Customer Loyalty: What Do Your Customers Really Care About?


Do you know what your customers value the most about your product/service?  Many business owners assume it's quality, great customer service, or price.

But if you were to ask current clients, their answers may surprise you. Sometimes personal concerns play an important role in buyer’s choices.

Recognizing the full range of both rational and emotional factors behind client purchases and tailoring your communications accordingly, is just as essential to client retention as it is to gaining new clients.

Today's criteria of  affordability, met expectations, and great service is standard for doing business.

Savvy BOSS LADIES include surveys in their customer support process to know what clients value.

How well are you retaining your clients?


Many entrepreneurs assume 50% client retention rate is great. It's a good start but you should want more customers to stick around.  Keeping as many clients as possible reduces the time and resources it takes to gain new customers.  An ideal client retention rate of 80% is a target you should aim for.

If you're not at the 80% mark, focusing your attention on keeping customers would be the easiest and smartest way to grow your business.

Are you nurturing your clients as prospects?


Now tell me this: Who is more likely to purchase high ticket offers—new buyers or existing buyers?

That’s a no-brainer.

If you see your existing buyers also as prospective buyers, and include them to the maximum degree, you will significantly improve the percentage of new business that results.

We often miss this clear and simple, direct route to improving our businesses because we don’t see existing buyers as prospective buyers, only as “past” buyers.

This is absurd and risky.

Making sure clustomers are aware of all the services we provide opens the door for new business. Addressing their individual values such as personal growth, reduced anxiety, and reputation solidifies customer loyalty.

THANKS FOR READING MY BLOG!
Are you looking for ways to stay top of mind?
Contact Us to discuss your client retention blueprint!
Or check us out on Facebook at TamaraBurkett


 

 

 

Customer Loyalty: What Do Your Customers Really Care About?


Do you know what your customers value the most about your product/service?  Many business owners assume it's quality, great customer service, or price.

But if you were to ask current clients, their answers may surprise you. Sometimes personal concerns play an important role in buyer’s choices.

Recognizing the full range of both rational and emotional factors behind client purchases and tailoring your communications accordingly, is just as essential to client retention as it is to gaining new clients.

Today's criteria of  affordability, met expectations, and great service is standard for doing business.

Savvy BOSS LADIES include surveys in their customer support process to know what clients value.

How well are you retaining your clients?


Many entrepreneurs assume any number 50% is great and it's a good start.  Keeping as many as your clients as possible reduces the time resources it takes to gain new customers.  An ideal client retention rate of 80% is a target you should aim for. Increasing client retention is a simple and easy way to meet your revenue goals.

Are you nurturing your clients as prospects?


Now tell me this: Who is more likely to purchase high ticket offers—new buyers or existing buyers?

That’s a no-brainer.

So what I’m sharing you is that if you see your existing buyers also as prospective buyers, and include them to the maximum degree, you will significantly improve the percentage of new business that results.

We often miss this clear and simple, direct route to improving our businesses because we don’t see existing buyers as prospective buyers, only as “past” buyers.

This is absurd and risky.

Making sure clustomers are aware of all the services we provide opens the door for new business. Addressing their individual values such as personal growth, reduced anxiety, and reputation solidifies customer loyalty.

THANKS FOR READING MY BLOG!
Are you looking for ways to stay top of mind?
Contact Us to discuss your client retention blueprint!
Or check us out on Facebook at TamaraBurkett


 

 

 

Thursday, 29 March 2018

Intuition:Optimize YOUR Brain Power Part 2

As a child, relying on my intuition was second nature. The sun was my watch, I knew what mood my mother was in by the sound of her footsteps, and could smell the rain before it came.

Yet as I grew older, I relied on it less and less.  I educated my intuition away.

Now, as I stare my forties in the eye, it has become a priority to reclaim that powerful relationship with myself I had as a child.

How can I return to the awareness I once had?

First I must understand what I'm reclaiming.

How do you define intuition?


You might define intuition as a gut feeling, or leading with your heart, but it's much more than that.

Ancient Polynesian navigators were able to map most of the Pacific Ocean without the use of  tools.  They used all five senses to gain knowledge of the waves, clouds and stars. The navigators were able to read the state of the ocean and traveled hundreds of miles on small canoes without getting lost.

Polynesians aren't the only people to achieve extraordinary accomplishments without the use of tools or technology.  Yet their story reveals 2 fundamental truths:

  1. How we relate to the world builds intuition.

  2. Intuition is an experiential intelligence.


More than 95% of your brain doesn't use language.  It relies on data collected from your 5 senses. All that information is translated into language and emotions for us to plan and take action. In other words, the majority of our brain is used to relate and understand the world while less than 5% is used to manipulate it.

Yet, we spend the majority of our bran power to manipulate our world.

No wonder we are overstressed, burned out, and in a hurry.

If you want to use more of your brain power, strengthening your intuition is the answer.

How can you become more intuitive?


Building intuition requires being fully aware of your environment and self awareness. Here are 4 daily exercises to improve your 6th sense.

  1. Reflect on your emotional state. Understanding what triggers certain emotions will help to improve self awareness, control reactions, and become more proactive.

  2. Breath deeper. It may sound too simple to be true, but most people take shallow breathes. Breathing deeper will give the body more oxygen, keeping you calm, and relaxed. This will make it much easier to slow down, be observant and notice patterns.

  3. Take in your surroundings. What does it smell, touch, taste, sound, look, feel like today? Asking yourself these questions daily will help you become in tune with yourself, and your environment. Once it becomes a habit, you'll notice patterns will start to emerge and you'll be able to tell if something's off.

  4. Go for a walk. Fresh air does the mind good. Experience beauty of nature and slow down.


Intuition is an internal compass that help us make sense of the world.  It grounds us, keep us safe, and bonds us to each other.  Strengthen your intuition and watch a new world unfold before you!

THANKS FOR READING MY BLOG!
Are you looking for ways to stay top of mind?
Contact Us for your client engagement blueprint!
Or check us out on Facebook at TamaraBurkett


 

 

 

 

 

Friday, 9 March 2018

Peer Networking: Creating Strategic Alliances

What does Mark Zuckerberg, Issa Rae, & Bill Gates have in common?

I’ll give you a hint: think strategic networking…

That’s right, they all collaborated with their peers to grow their business. When well established companies would not give them the time of day, their peers offered them opportunities.

Horizontal networking is a powerful strategy most business owners over look.

I was certainly guilty of this and questioned this strategy.

What do two entrepreneurs in the same stage of business have to offer each other?

Asking this question opened the flood gates of creative answers and transformed how I network.

Just like Bill Gates, Mark Zuckerberg and Issa Rae transformed their businesses, you can too.

True BOSS ladies know the value of horizontal networking and use the power of peer groups to grow their business.

Here are my top 5 ways to leverage your peer group.



  1. Honest feedback.  It’s a huge advantage to have a group who'll test your branding, products, and marketing.  A large company would pay thousands of dollars to a marketing research company for the feedback your peer group would gladly provide for free.

  2. Support.  It's challenging talking about business to loved ones. Often times, they're tired of hearing about it, they don't understand, or it's boring to them.  No matter if it’s to celebrate or vent, your peer group will understand your victories and pain. They can also help plot your next move.

  3. Project Opportunities. Peers are more willing to include you in proposals  for joint opportunities such as workshops, webinars creations, conferences etc. If your business offers adjacent services/ or products, it’s a win-win situation for you, peers and clients.

  4. Marketing. Marketing opportunities are abundant in peer groups.  Guest blogging, podcast interviews, and event sharing are just a few inexpensive ways peers help one another gain visibility.

  5. Build life-long relationships. Experiencing collective emotional highs and lows build strong, lasting bonds.  It's amazing fun making money with people you enjoy being with.


Building strategic alliances with your peers can make all the difference in the world when growing your business.

THANKS FOR READING MY BLOG!
Are you looking for ways to stay top of mind?
Contact Us for your client engagement blueprint!
Or check us out on Facebook at TamaraBurkett


 

 

Neck and Shoulder Tension: Why Your Body Won’t Relax — Even When You’re Resting

What if your body doesn’t need another stretch? What if it needs to learn how to support itself? Neck and shoulder tension can make someth...